I, PATRICIA EHRLER, being of sound mind leave to Mrs. McMahon, paper and pencil to write down names of those talking in home room; to Jerry A., a stamp to mail my papers to me; to Mrs. Huck, a portable film operator; to Mr. Mulderink, a book full of questions for his simple tests; to Mr. Burrus, tea and cookies; to Miss Dorne, a crash helmet; to Miss Groth, a bottle of Compoz; to Mrs. T., a tape recorder; to the administration, the famous words - "No, you can't do that."; and finally to Chris a clean locker.
I, PAM SPERO, leave one pair of fat lips to Sandy. To Laura I leave a grand piano so she can practice more. To Stosh, I leave nothing cause I can't think of anything. To D.J. I leave a razor in case he wants to shave his moustache.
I, MIKE HAYES, wish to leave behind the following; To Coach Scaduto all my old pencils with the erasers worn off. To Mr. Hess, a bell he can wear around his neck to let his hall guards know he's coming. To Mr. Mulderink, a wet sponge to clean those blackboards with. Also some new colored chalk. To Mr. Zaugra, the task of finding another clown and a bum for aides. Finally to Herr Gahala, from whose class I obtained so much satisfaction, and learned so little, I leave all my other possessions, including the tab I've been picking up all year. Now its Your turn to pick it up, Herr.
I, DIANA SMITH, being of sound mind and body do leave to: Miss Hohn (Hey y'all) I leave my dirty jokes, her dirty mind, and a 32nd flavor for her 31 flavors ice cream parlor. To Mrs. Tadey I leave all her mailable letters and the memories of FSA. To Ellen and Bob I wish many years of happiness. To Mrs. Schwenke I leave all the unfiled cards, hoping she learns the freshman alphabet. To Mrs. Bourbolas I leave a whip, you may need it for the underclassmen. To Maria, Dale, and Cyd I leave the memories of our skating expedition. To the Administration I leave the memory of the class of '7l.
I, MICHAEL RYAN, ESQ., Hereby bequeath the following: To Ray Vicario 5 packages of hot dogs for next year. To Pam Green a drunken bullfrog named Jeremiah. To Mr. Hess the 35th reprinting of Mein Kampf. To Mr. Tucker the Gettysburg Address but without the Zip Code. To all the remaining students at Oak Lawn I leave my deepest sympathy.
I, RICK SCHUBERTH, leave the following to the following: 400 lbs. of newspapers to Dan; my misspelled name to Chris; a gold diamond-studded necklace to Anne; Sex goddess award to Macatroni ; a warped violin and lifetime pass to the gynecologists convention to Claudette; lifetime supply of swimming world to Greg; the timers to Gus, and to both of them all the Macatroni they can get; "Hey Peace" and all my patented quotes to Tom and Scott; Physics to Jerry and Mike; a busted beaker and a giant poster of Don Rickles to Pat; and my secret to Sue.
I, JOHN CRITTENDEN, upon departing from OLCHS leave to the residents of the same, the following: To Mr. Holmgren, my two years of vast math knowledge acquired from him. To Herr Gahala, two free lessons to a polka school. To Mr. Mulderink a guide to teacher's etiquette. The executor will be my brother, who is stuck for three more years.
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